Are Video Games Holding You Back from Becoming a Badass?

Are video games bad for you? It’s a question that gets thrown around a lot in the male self-improvement space, and for good reason. Despite being a relatively new form of entertainment, games have taken the world by storm.

Now that gaming consoles are affordable enough for the average person to have them in their home, the gaming industry has become a $100 billion dollar juggernaut.

And it’s pretty obvious why - they’re incredible at capturing the attention of young men. While there are plenty of female gamers out there, the industry is overwhelmingly dominated by males… but why is that the case?

Well, as I often do, I’ll be leaning on evolutionary psychology for an answer here.

When we look at how human beings have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years, it’s clear that men, generally speaking, are wired to head out in pursuit of adventure and resources.

After all, a man who’s able to successfully survive the difficulties of the world and provide food, water, and shelter for his family, is more likely to have his genetic line survive in the long term.

And while there are always outliers, the overwhelming majority of men are wired like this. Their brains push them to adventure, compete, take risks, and accumulate resources.

But the circumstances have changed. For the first time in our 200,000 year history, survival is more or less guaranteed. On top of that, we now have access to a whole bunch of on-demand shortcuts for all the things we’re wired to pursue.

Rather than hunting and foraging for food, we make the risk-free trip to the supermarket. Rather than pursuing sex, we head to a porn website.

And rather than exploring and adventuring… we boot up a video game.

This is why video games can be so damaging. They allow you to simulate all the things that your brain craves. The adventure, accomplishment, and feelings of power can all be attained… but without the negatives. Normally, these things require an individual to endure struggle, risk, and a huge amount of competition to acquire.

Video games give you the reward, without requiring you to pay a price.

In fact, most games have the AI toned down to sub-stupid levels to ensure the player has a fun experience. Game worlds are literally bubble-wrapped for you to enjoy without hurting yourself, in the same way that new parents child-proof their home.

Is It Really That Bad?

I’m aware of how dark an assessment this seems so I want to be clear and say that I don’t believe video games to be totally evil.

While they have problems, I do think there are positives too, which I’ll go through in a second.

The important thing is that men need a better understanding of what’s actually happening when they play video games. They need to better understand their own psychology and how games influence them on a subconscious level.

Entertainment and fun are one thing, but that’s often not the real reason people are playing games in the first place, especially when there’s addiction involved.

So, let’s answer the big questions: are video games bad for you and are they holding you back from living a badass life?

Along those same lines, is it possible for you to use games to your advantage and to benefit from the time spent in the digital world? Let’s find out.

Benefiting from Video Games

We’re covering the big question - are video games bad for you? 

Well, as I mentioned above, I don’t think games are all bad. If you’re conscious about how and when you’re playing them, they can provide benefits in your life. Let’s go through some of the ways I believe this to be the case.

Character Training

For most people, the video game world is an opportunity to throw the rulebook out the window. The fact that there are no real consequences for their behaviour, leads many players to experiment and act in ways they never would in the real world.

While this can certainly be fun, I’d argue that games are actually an opportunity to do the opposite - to think about the values you want to possess in real life, and to act out and reinforce those behaviours.

If you want to be less anxious in the real world, practice staying composed in tense situations in the gaming world. While there’s no substitute for a real experience, you can still work on your ability to perform well while adrenaline is pumping through your body.

Another example would be integrity. If you’re someone who wants to act with integrity in the real world (which I highly recommend), then you’d want to practise acting that way in the game world too. This would mean being consistent and honest, even when you get an opportunity to lie or betray for personal gain.

Winding Down

While hustle culture will tell you that you should be spending every waking hour grinding, I disagree.

Work ethic is both admirable and necessary, but most people simply won’t be able to sustain a schedule that consists of all work and no play. For most, setting some time aside for relaxation each day will be a necessity if they want to perform optimally.

And if you want to keep video games in your life, this is the place for them. Once all your work is complete for the day, and you’re starting to run low on energy, games can be a great way to help you unwind and reduce stress.

Understanding Your Weaknesses

One of the fun parts of a good game is that you know at some point, you’re going to fail. It might even happen a bunch of times in short succession, and if it does, good.

Because moments like those are an opportunity for introspection. If you’re frequently making mistakes or feeling frustrated, there’s probably a character weakness hiding beneath the surface.

In that sense, video games can show you what your weaknesses are just as easily as any other area of life.

Communication Skills

While I definitely think the best way to improve your communication skills is in the real world, multiplayer games can definitely act as a supplement.

They provide a fast-paced environment to practise teamwork and clear communication. And just like social media, the gaming world is full of keyboard warriors who’re ready and willing to scream abuse at you for no other reason than they know there won’t be any consequences.

While this is often labelled as toxic behaviour (and it certainly is), it also gives you an opportunity to practise staying calm and stoic in the heat of an argument. 

If you can learn to keep your cool and communicate clearly when some random person across the world is telling you how worthless you are, you’ll be much more prepared for real-world arguments.

Things to Watch Out for

So yes, there are some ways for you to benefit from your gaming time. But there are also a bunch of things that you need to be careful of. Let’s run through them now.

Addiction

As most gamers have already figured out, video games tend to have an addictive quality to them.

It’s no surprise really; the designers build them that way. After all, what better way to find success in the gaming industry than to ensure people who start playing your game keep pumping time into it.

After all, the more time people spend in your game, the more likely they are to recommend it to their friends and indirectly promote it online. Not to mention that in the current microtransaction climate, more time in game often directly translates to more money spent.

It’s in the developer’s best interests to get you addicted to their game. That’s why they drip feed you with new missions, rewards, and XP whenever you accomplish anything, however minor it might be.

Although it’s probably obvious why you need to be careful of addictive video games, it’s even more important when I remind you of what we spoke about above. For a gaming habit to be beneficial in your life, it needs to exist within strict boundaries. Unfortunately, when a game is trying to convince you to play one more round or complete one more mission, it becomes almost impossible to stick to your self-imposed limits.

The Power Simulation

As I’ve already alluded to, one of the biggest reasons so many young men fall in love with video games is due to the power fantasy they help fulfil. 

Unfortunately, achieving any noticeable level of power in the real world, whether it’s based on physicality or resources, takes a huge amount of time and effort to acquire.

Not so in the gaming world. Most games have you equipped with everything you need to dominate from the first minute of gameplay. You don’t have to endure any of the hardships that would be necessary to earn that same power outside the game world.

And most people are okay with this. After all, building power outside the game world usually isn’t fun or pretty. It takes thousands of boring hours in the office or the gym. It takes sacrificing weekends and relationships.

No wonder people choose the game world so often. By contrast, the realities of achieving things in the real world are dull and unappealing.

Empty Accomplishments

Continuing on from the previous point, accomplishments in the gaming world don’t require struggle to attain. 

Some people like it this way, but in truth, this tends to make the accomplishment feel empty. This is because, as human beings that were wired to struggle for survival, we value rewards that come from effort.

If something is fed to us, it loses its appeal much more quickly than something we worked to attain. This is why a meal you cooked yourself will often taste better than it should. It’s also why games that feel too easy struggle to hold our focus.

Another reason for these in-game accomplishments feeling empty is because, in a sense, we know they are.

After all, achieving something big in the outside world usually leads to some kind of useful reward. Money, status, and recognition help us live better lives, even outside the areas they were obtained in. But in-game accomplishments don’t provide any of those things (assuming we ignore the rare exceptions such as Twitch streamers or professional gamers).

This is why MMORPGs are one of the most common genres for players to find themselves addicted to. They have you building an identity and working for accomplishments within a world that feels real, but doesn’t offer any of the benefits of the real world.

The Conclusion: Are Video Games Bad for You and Can They Be Used to Your Advantage?

A complicated question that I’ve done my best to outline above, but the short answer is yes.

However, you’ll need a strict set of rules determining how and when you play them. These can and should reflect your life goals. For example, if you have a goal that’s going to require you to work 16-hour days, then you’re probably better off restricting your game time to the weekend.

Time constraints are the primary rule I use to keep my gaming habit under control. To be specific, I’m only allowed to play games during time slots that I’ve pre-designated as ‘wind-down time’. These periods tend to be between 8pm and 10pm in the evening, when most of my energy for the day has already been spent and I’m getting ready to go to sleep.

But time constraints aren’t the only way you can play this. Another would be limiting yourself based on the type or genre of game. For example, if you’ve found that you more easily get addicted to shooters and end up getting sucked into a never ending cycle of ‘just one more’ until suddenly it’s 3am, then that’s a huge problem. Instead, find a type of game that you enjoy but can maintain more control over.

Taking that angle, you can prioritise playing games that provide you with benefits. Difficult games like Dark Souls can be a great way to train your calmness under pressure and stoic endurance.

Open-ended RPGs give you a playing field to hone your character and values. Strategy games can help you with your ability to manage resources and work efficiently within complex systems.

Benefits like these are present within many different types of games. Think about the kinds of things you’ll need to accomplish your biggest goals in life, and then align your game time accordingly. That way, even in your off time, you’re still sharpening your sword a little for the next day of work.

Keep It Under Control. Always.

Keep your wits about you. Games are designed to reel you in and keep you there. Always remember that your game time is for your benefit, not for the benefit of the people profiting from the game.

Games should NEVER be a replacement for real world activities. Spend the first 90% of your day pursuing things in the real world. Work hard. Lift weights. Develop skills. Chase girls.

The games are only there to help you unwind and sharpen your sword in your off hours. They should always wait until your work is done for the day.

That’s how a badass uses video games.