Focus on Growth and the Rest Will Follow
As human beings, we tend to get very wrapped up in external accomplishments.
This isn’t our fault – it’s how we’re wired. From an evolutionary and survival perspective, it’s in our best interests to pursue resources, sex, and status. These are the things that keep us alive, and help us produce the best offspring.
Naturally, if you don’t manage to get any of these things, it’s also in your best interests to feel bad about it. After all, feeling bad is the only thing that’s gonna get you up off your arse and working.
I think this is as true today as it was 20,000 years ago.
However, as many of us have learned through experience, focusing entirely on those external rewards can be dangerous. This is because failing to achieve a goal after putting your all into it can smash your confidence and self-esteem.
It’s then necessary, when pursuing your goals, to find a way to detach from the outcome. This is growth mindset in a nutshell, but it’s also easier said than done.
Which is ultimately the point of this article – to provide a useful reframe; a way of thinking that can help you pursue your goals without being overly attached to the result.
And that reframe is simple:
The real reward isn’t what you’re aiming at. It’s the strength and focus you build while you’re aiming. It’s who you become in the pursuit of your goal, not the goal itself.
It’s not about landing a gorgeous girlfriend. It’s about becoming the kind of man who can charm a random stranger he meets in a cafe.
It’s not about having the biggest biceps in the gym. It’s about becoming the kind of man who consistently puts in hard work towards his goals, regardless of the pain and difficulty he has to endure along the way.
It’s not about becoming rich. It’s about becoming the kind of man capable of becoming rich. It’s about the skills and character you build along the way.
I think this framing can be helpful both when you encounter obstacles and when you find yourself running low on motivation.
We all know from experience that external rewards are temporary. They make you feel great for a moment, but that feeling soon fades and you’re back to being your regular old self. Fortunately, this idea should show you that being your regular old self can actually be pretty awesome.
If you’re able to keep the real prize in sight – who you become along the way, rather than the money or the success, then the obstacles won’t seem so large.
After all, the reward is now practically a guarantee… as long as you keep grinding.
Now that’s badass.